In My Feelings

First post in a long time, and of course, I’m in my feelings. LOL.

I’ve been in a funk for a while now. I’m not even going to front and act like I don’t know why or what the cause is. I’ve allowed my flesh to become stronger than my spirit man. What we feed will grow. So, without prayer, time with the Lord, reading my Bible, my Spirit man becomes weak; and my flesh grows stronger.

And in the flesh, the soulish realm, is where the emotions lie. And my emotions are always target #1 for the enemy. The first step is realizing and admitting you have a problem. Haha! The crazy part is that I know what’s going on and how to rectify the problem.

So with that being said, yesterday was Thanksgiving. I spent it with my family. We had a great time, as usual. I laid around while Brooklyn ran around with her aunties. It always feels good to be home. I love being around my parents and my siblings. It’s just right, ya know? So, my mom and I ended the night watching TvOne’s Unsong. Man oh man! They had a marathon going on and I was hooked. I watched the documentaries on David Ruffin, Eddie Kendricks, Tammy Terrell, and Minnie Riperton.

Ahhhh Minnie. This one got me. The fact that she left this world so young, that she left her babies and the love of her life so soon…. it really got to me. And let me not forget to mention how Minnie is the author of one of my fav songs ever! Of course, I was provoked to listen. And boy did I listen. I listened last night, woke up singing it, and listened to it on repeat this morning on my way to work… Knowing full well that I’m feeding my flesh gobs of yummy goodness. I usually would listen to worship music, meditate on the Lord, or read.

But not today! Honey, Minnie crooned in my ear the entire hour and ten minutes in!

Now, there are those who believe that there is nothing wrong with listening to secular music. They say it depends on the lyrics. They say it depends on the setting, i.e. married couple listening to love songs. And others say that it’s all the devil.

Well, I can only speak for myself. Listening to my fav Minnie song does not provoke me to read my Bible. It does not make me think about Jesus. And it definitely doesn’t make me want to fall down on my knees in worship.

Listening to Minnie made me think about my fleshly desires. I’m not talking about sex. But about relationships, things that I want, how I miss the feelings that her words brought back to my mind. But none of this glorifies God. What good does this do me?

Now, I know what God has promised me. I know full well what is around the corner. But listening to this made me impatient. It made my mind slip back to such and such… you get what I’m saying?

For me, secular music, in a nut shell is a no-no. I have to guard my heart. I have to guard my thought-life. Out of the heart spring the issues of life. I want my heart to be full of hope and faith in God. Not full of flashbacks, fleshly desires, thoughts of what could have been, etc.

Am I saying that you shouldn’t listen to secular music? Nope. Not at all. That is between you and the Lord. And perhaps, with the spiritual state that I was already in, listening to my fav Minnie song was a bad idea at that moment. But because I can’t stand to feel far away from the Lord, I’m going to give Minnie a rest for now, repent for ignoring the Holy Spirit tugging me to spend time with Him, and get into this good Word.

That’s enough transparency for the day.

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